My first monthly update and I am embarrassed to say I am already late to write and post it! I really hope this is not setting the tone for the rest of the updates I plan to do. Last week I was on week 2 of being sick with a head cold when I also experienced mastitis. I had mastitis before when my daughter was 6 weeks old. This time around I was more aware of what it feels like and when I got a plugged duct almost right away with our son, so I quickly nipped it (pun intended). I think I missed this one because I wrote off the aches and chills to my cold instead of thinking it was anything else. Anyways, the point is I was feeling AWFUL last week and although I had snapped his pictures, sitting and typing this up never got done. So here it is now, better late than never!
Friday, October 20, 2017: Once our daughter was in bed and the later evening was upon us I found myself babbling to my hubby on the couch, telling him that I felt like this baby boy was never going to come. After having our daughter early at 38 weeks, it really messed with my head that our second babe should also come early. Despite having this feeling, I also sensed this little boy was going to cook longer than his big sis and I had predicted he would arrive during week 39. The Instagram world of mom’s shared their personal birth stores with me, informing me that their babies arrival dates varied, proving siblings didn’t always follow the same path weeks wise. Despite knowing all this and in the end not even making it to my due date, I found myself once again almost in denial that I was ever going to have this baby. The lead up had peaked for me around the start of 39 weeks and by the end of that week I was feeling deflated and discouraged. Almost feeling as though that belly of mine was there to stay for good, which was a terrifying thought since I was a whale and could barely eat, breathe or move anymore. Despite feeling physically ready and expecting him to arrive at any point, I secretly wished and was grateful that he hadn’t yet come. If you read my last post you’ll know that I was struggling with the acceptance of another babe. My “Emsley world” was a great world to be in and I was worried about how much baby brother’s arrival would affect her as well as our relationship. My maternity leave this time started at 39 weeks and because baby boy didn’t arrive before then, week 39 became Miss Lace and mommy’s week of fun. I focused on my one child whole heartedly, enjoyed my time with just her and dedicated each new day to her and her only. I am so incredibly grateful for that week. It really was unexpected to some extent but one hundred percent needed, valued and enjoyed.
Preparing Emsley’s room before she came was one of the greatest joys for me during the pregnancy period. Picking out items for her, from clothes, to toys and to room decor really helped me connect with her future worldly presence. Every little item I picked out for her was so exciting and made me feel elated at the thought of her pending arrival. This time however, life is busier. With having a toddler running around, combined with juggling being a working mom, I find the time I have to sit, nest and prepare for baby brother is MUCH less compared to the amount of time I had to do that when I was pregnant with Miss Lace. In a lot of ways, I have struggled with that. To me, nesting and creating my baby’s nursery is what really allowed me to feel ready and excited for Emsley’s arrival. That being said, I never did feel like having her was really going to happen. Continue reading